Alice’s Adventures in an Arts Career

I can hardly believe it.  After the most horendous audtion of my life last weekend, I just received a call back.  I’ve been offered the role of Tessa or Fiametta.  They are not sure yet, I’ll either have one or the other.  The production  team just wants to hear both myself and the other girl slotted for the role to do a call back and do  some scene work with one another and our male counterparts to get a sense for our chemistry. But either way, I’m in the show and not only that I have a role.  I seriously was not even expecting to get chorus!

This is so surreal.  I had completely written this production off after that audition.  I was sure nothing would come of it.  It seems so strange sometimes to think back on which efforts have gotten me positive results and which one’s haven’t.  There have been numerous auditions I have done in the past that I thought were excellent and got nothing  from them.  But this time I train wreck, and get a role.  It makes it so hard to actually gauge what a successful performance or audition is.  You never really know what a panel is looking for and what a successful audition means to them.  The performing world is funny like that.

Anyway, I really couldn’t be more thrilled and I’m going to start work on the music right away.  The call back is set for September so we all have time to prepare.

It’s amazing how much can change in a matter of a couple weeks.  After a rather confusing and frustrating start to this intersession course, I seem to have suddenly and unknowingly turned a major corner in my singing over the weekend.  Last week I was feeling quite discourage about my voice after an extremely frustrating week of lessons and a dismal masterclass performance.  I felt as if I was sounding years behind my actually experience level and not worthy to even call myself a singer.  I couldn’t seem to grasp the technique that was being taught.  Then, after a weekend of practicing, mostly for that disastrous audition, I came back and apparently brought a brand new voice with me.

I wish I could explain what the difference is, but to be perfectly honest, I’m not entirely sure.  All I know is that it’s different and it’s good.  Things that caused me huge frustrations are now somehow easier.  I have high notes I never though I’d have.  I have a clarity and resonance of tone I never thought I’d have.  I have consistent vibrancy and a vastly improved evenness of registers. But I’m not sure I know what I’m doing different.  Everyone says it’s like the light bulb has gone off for me, but there was no light bulb.  There was not Eureka moment, no pure moment of clarity or insight.  I just went into the weekend with one voice and came back with another.

Now, it’s not like I’m complaining.  This is the very thing I’ve been sweating and crying over (quite literally) for years now.  But I really need to figure out what it is that has been making this difference, if for no other reason than to make sure that I never lose it.  But for now I’m just reveling in this new sound.  I couldn’t be happier and hope against hope that it’s here to stay.

Next week we switch from having Torin Chiles as the course vocal coach to Ted Baerg, which means once again I’ll be switching to a new style of teaching.  I’m hoping that my progress keeps going in this positive direction under new care.  However, I really wish I could spend just a couple more weeks with Prof. Chiles.  I’m now really enjoying his technical approach.  I just want more now.

I did an audition for a production Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Gondolier’s this evening.  It didn’t really go as well as I had hoped.  I’m not sure what happened, but in the middle of my pierce, I swear either I changed key or my accompanist did. I’m not sure, but something was very wrong and the whole thing fell apart.  We started again, but the same thing happened.  I eventually limped to the end of the piece, but sufficient to say, it was not my best performance.  I really wish I knew what went wrong.  It certainly wasn’t a matter of not being prepared.  I uses rep that I’ve known for a good 6 months now and I spent all week practicing, so I knew what I was doing.

Oh well, I guess there’s nothing I can do about it now.  On the upside my cold dramatic reading went really well and I’m usually not very good at those and my dance audition was alright.  So all I can do now it wait and see.  Though to be honest, I’m really not expecting to get in after that train wreck.  It just really annoys me because I knew the piece and I’d spent so much time working on characterization.

I’ll just file it away under the category of “experience”, hope for the best and be on the look out for the next audition.

We rehearsed the final scene of Act 5 this evening.  I officially have my first show bruises… and scrapes and pulled muscles.  We rehearsed the show down between Kate and the Widow (me), and there are only three words for it… epic cat fight!

Jen (Kate/The Shrew) and I just go at one another.  There’s pushing, slapping, scratching, hair pulling, spitting, screaming, head locks and wrestling.  Oh, did I mention this is all happening on concrete? Yea, concrete.  And it’s only going to get better from here as we keep working on it.  I’m sore now and I’m sure this is only the beginning of my pain, but it’s so going to be worth it.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re doing everything we can to try and keep ourselves as safe as possible and prevent real injuries, however, did I mention we’re on concrete? It is not exactly the most forgiving of surfaces to work on.

That was one of the nice things about the location for last year’s production of The Dream.  We were on thick lush grass which is much nicer to land on.  You can fall, roll and thrash all you want on grass and stay reasonably uninjured and we sure took advantage that feature.  Unfortunately this year’s show is no less violent but our landings are less pleasant.

That said, I am enjoying myself immensely.  I haven’t had much opportunity yet in the roles I’ve played to date to revel in this type of physical stage contact.  I’ve done some stage fighting workshops and as Gertrude in last fall’s show I was roughed up a bit, but I’ve yet to have the chance to really through myself into a fight and get down and dirty.  I’ve always wanted to do it.  I’ve watched others in envy and now it’s finally my turn.

As I’ve said before, it’s going to be a hilarious show. If you’re in town during the run, come and see the show.

I’m now in my second week of my six week Vocal Arts course. I have some form of vocal coaching or lesson nearly everyday with 4 hours of masterclass a week and a lot of practicing.  So far things have been going well though very different.

I’ve been working with Torin Chiles and his style is very different than I’ve been used to.  His approach is very technical and detail oriented.  I am not used to so many anatomical and physiological terms or references to 16th century Italian treatises.  It is a very different experience to be sure, but a good one.

Right now I feel as if the ground has been pulled out from under me and I’m muddling my way through brand new territory.  It’s not something I necessarily enjoy.  I don’t like feeling unsure and lost.  I like knowing exactly where I stand with something.  I like feeling like I know what I’m doing and right now I certainly do not as I’m fumble around with this new perspective.  However, despite my anxieties, I know it’s good for me and while I can’t nessessarily hear my own progress, I apparently am making it. I’d just like to stop feeling like I’m flowndering and let my toe  to touch the bottom of the pool … just a little.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve started working on an old unfinished composition from a couple years ago, which means I’ve started the hellish, frustrating and time consuming composition process all over again. Once again, I’m going nuts trying to iron out all the problems and am overwhelmed with choices.

The biggest challenge has been the lyrics.  I originally started this piece because up until that point I had never written anything with words before. I decided to set myself the challenge.  Now, for the most part I really like what I have written, especially the first verse and I went about writing the piece in the recommended way: lyrics first then music.  The result has been a wonderful first verse, chorus and bridge.  However, the second verse has always been a problem.  I’ve re-written it several times now.  However, because I already have a perfect first verse and wrote the music to fit it, my second verse is now constrained by that melodic shape.  This has been making the frustrating process of writing new lyrics even harder because I am now forced to write the words to fit the music. There’s a reason this order of composition is discouraged! I think after this piece, if I ever write another choral work, I’ll stick to using someone else’s words.  It just removes one layer of aggravation.

My recent success with my choral arrangement piece “If Thou Wilt, Remember” has inspired me and given me the confidence to go back and take a look at some of my earlier compositions and restart the writing process.

I’ve been writing little pieces since I was 10.  I have an entire computer file full of ideas in various states of completeness.  Some works have been reasonably finished.  I’ve even had a couple performed by my old church youth ensemble, but most are bear skeletons of pieces or even just a few lines.  So many more don’t even exist in any type of written form but only as part of great long fantasias of noodle-ing I routinely play on the piano.

For those of you who may not be familiar with the ever so technical term, noodle-ing is a form of improvised composition.  Rather like dancing alone in your room to classic 80’s pop with the blinds closed, there are no rules, no goals, you simply play and mess around like no one’s watching.  It usually only sounds good to the person playing and tends to just irritate everyone else.

I think I’ve mentioned before how noodle-ing is the musical activity that I do to take a break from my music work.  Whenever I’m in a practice room I always end up spending some time noodle-ing.  It’s a stress reliever.  It’s one way for me to really sink my hands into music and let myself get lost.  Because the piano is not my “instrument” and I’m not a trained composer, when I “noodle” around and play, I feel free.  I don’t worry about technique or style.  I don’t worry about what I sound like or whether I’m doing it right not. I don’t care what other people might think about it.  I simply do what I want and I do it for me, and before I know it, 2 and a half hours has flown by.

Now, this “noodle-ing” has its draw backs.  I can often hear in my head some sense of what I want to play but my less than extensive experience with formal composition limits my ability to physically realize these vague ideas.  I’ll have a sense of where a phrase wants to go, but won’t have the skill to make it happen.  My pallet of compositional progressions, tricks and techniques are limited to what I have slowly discovered on my own over 12 years of incessant “noodle-ing” (I’ve driven my parents nuts on more than one occasion).  New ideas almost always happen by accident and when they do I’ll be lucky if I can catch them in the moment and remember them.

I realize a lot of people compose this way and certainly I find it satisfying most of the time, especially since most of the time I’m not playing to write anything specific but rather just to play.  Remember, there are no rules or goals in noodle-ing.  However, it can be extremely frustrating, particularly in those moments when I do want to find something new and branch out from my usual bag of tricks but can’t figure out how to do it.  It’s times like those that I wish I had a more thorough command of theory to fall back on.  Of course that’s always something I can work on.  I can always study up and practice more theory, but that would then be turning into work what I’ve deliberately reserved for fun.

At least I can lock myself in little practice rooms now and not drive my family and friends nuts with endless noodle-ing.

Tomorrow I start my Vocal Arts intersession course.   I’m excited but also really nervous about it.  It’s going to be a lot of work.  I’ll be working with new vocal teachers and surrounded by singers I KNOW are better than I am.  I’m going to struggle just to keep my head above water, I think.  However, I think the payoff will be great.  I’m hoping to make some good progress.  So, wish me luck and I’m sure I’ll post updates on my progress as I go through this 6 weeks of getting my ass kicked.

Of all the various things I’ve been involved with over the years, I never for a moment thought set-design would become part of my repertoire of tricks.  Not only that, I never thought I would get as excited about it as I do with singing or conducting or composing or teaching or any of the other things that excite my passions.  But that’s exactly what has happened. I’ve been bursting with energy and ideas ever since I began work on the Hamlet set and the same is now for the Shrew set.  I get excited by construction theory and design, by painting and sewing technique. I sit and wrestle with design conundrums.  I dream of fantasy shopping sprees in Rona, Fabricland and Michael’s, though to be honest, Rona still overwhelms me and I tend to wander the aisles like a lost child.  I like the challenge that this kind of job gives me.  I like trying to juggle cost, construction feasibly and design.  I like trying to find ways to dress an empty space and transform it into another world.  It makes me feel accomplished.

Of all the things I do, it certainly is not the one I consider myself best at.  I have a lot I still need to learn.  I still rely on my Dad for construction help and my sewing skills could definitely use some brushing up and fine tuning. I have a sense for some basic stage design theory and construction, but there’s a lot more I could know, and I only know what I do from watching others do it since grade 6.

However, set-design is not something I really like to do unless I’m already in a show.  Set-design alone is not enough for me, and it definitely is not what I hope to become most known for.  However, I do enjoy it and I think I do have some good ideas.  I take pride in the work that I do and always try to create something that contributes to the greatness of a show.

I have high hopes for the Shrew set.  It won’t be very big, or extravagant, but it will be a few small touches here and there that will just add that extra something to the show.