Alice’s Adventures in an Arts Career

Before every performance, when I’m in costume, my make-up and hair is all done and everyone is waiting for our five minute call, I find a quite corner and I speak these words aloud.

When Burbadge played, the stage was bare
Of fount and temple, tower and stair;
Two backswords eked a battle out;
Two supers made a rabble rout;
The throne of Denmark was a chair!

This is the Actor’s gift: to share
All moods, all passions, nor to care
One whit for scene, so he without
Can lead men’s minds the roundabout
Stirred as of old those hearers were,
When Burbadge played!

Austin Dobson

It brings me a moment of clarity and purpose.  In three simple stanzas, my whole reason for doing what I do is summed up and I am reminded that above all the trapping like sets, costumes, make-up, lights, grand theatres, huge audiences and glowing reviews, it is the art that is at the core and it is the art that must be served first.

I don’t know what it is, but the third show of any theatrical run is somehow always doomed  to flop.  No amount of rehearsal, preparation, and sacrifice to the Theatre God’s can ward off this ancient hex.  The shows preceding and following the Third Show are usually great, but that one in the middle tends to always run off the rails.

I don’t know what it is, but the third show of any theatrical run is somehow always doomed to flop.  No amount of rehearsal, preparation, and sacrifice to the Theatre God’s can ward off this ancient hex.  The shows preceding and following are usually great, but that one in the middle tends to run off the rails.

Perhaps it’s over confidence or complacency that is to blame.  With a couple of good performances under the belt, a cast can become over confident and less diligent in their performance.  And yet, I am unwilling to blame it squarely on the cast since last Wednesday’s Shrew performance proved to me that even nature abhors a Third Show.

The Third show of last year’s Summer Shakespeare A Mid-Summer Night’s Dream has forever been burned into that casts collective memory as the night we epically screwed up the opening dance, resulting in the cast dropping the choreography all together in favour of skipping around in circles until the music stopped before running frantically off stage. It was also the night that a convoy of emergency vehicles with sirens blaring raced passed our outdoor staging area disrupting the show for 10 minutes.

This year it was rain that initiated a domino effect that saw us dropping lines, missing cues and losing energy.

In both these cases, the cast was not at complete fault for the demise of the show.  No amount of caution and diligence can prevent the skies from opening up, or police from driving past.

Perhaps it is the pressure of recognizing the precarious nature of the Thirds Show and a determination to make sure it “doesn’t happen this time” that in turn causes the very thing we are determined not to happen.  Or maybe we do get too comfortable and get what we deserve.  Or maybe, there really is a Third Show curse that drives every middle of the run performance into the ground.

At any rate, at least Shrew’s Third Show is over now and we are into Closing Night… a whole other beast all of its own.

The Taming of the Shrew… where do I begin.  First off, the run has been going spectacularly well… for the most part.  Opening Night was wonderful.  Our pacing was incredibly good.  I felt good about my performance of the Lord, but was less confident with my Pedant.  However, I received some good reassurance and constructive criticism after, and since then that particular role has been getting better and better.

The second night was just as good.  Though it was interesting, our pacing was not as consistent, yet our performances were more nuanced and sophisticated.

Third night… ugh… not so good.  Well, it opened really well for me, being my best performance of the Lord yet, I think.  The energy of the rest of the first part of the show was just as good and I was feeling as if we were going to escape the curse of the “Third Show”.  But then it began to rain.  Not a lot, but enough to piss off our audience.  After that our energy just sank as we all began to worry about the weather and the task of re-winning over a disgruntled audience weighed heavy on our shoulders.  Mistakes began to happen.  Lines were dropped, cues were missed and our pacing and energy began to sag.  Now, it’s not as if it was a horrible show.  It was still funny.  It wasn’t bad… but it wasn’t good either.

Tonight, we certainly made up for it.  We had perfect weather.  A lovely cool breeze kept us from sweating the usual buckets we’ve come to expect from the last several shows.  It was a Friday night audience- a little small, but very warm, giving and completely willing to be swept along and respond to us.  They were a pleasure to perform for and as a result we had the best run yet.  My Lord was great, but even better was my Pedant.  The Widow was just as good as she’s always been… she is not a role that eludes me in the slightest.  However, the fight keeps growing in it’s intensity and we have plans for tomorrows closing night performance… Let’s put it this way, it’s a good thing I won’t have to wear my costume again after tomorrow.

It short, I’m having a blast.  It’s so good to be in front of an audience again.  I’ll post later about some of the specific events or revelations I’ve had during the course of this run.  But for now, I will rest up before our closing night performance which should prove to be the most outrageous show yet.  I can hardly wait, and yet I dread the rising of the sun as it will mean that after tomorrow, it will all be done.

So much for work such a short run.  Sigh, such is the life of one who lives in shows.

It’s opening night!

We’re getting real close to opening night and things are shaping up.  We had a double run of the show today, which meant it was a 8 hours of rehearsal day.  It took a while, a lot of energy and I’m really tired, but it was so very worth it.

Some thoughts, I had.  It was amazing to see the difference in performance, pace and energy between our first run in the afternoon and the second run later in the evening.  I was worried that after going through it once, we would lose energy and the second run would sag.  But it was the complete opposite.  After a rather stern but needed talk from our assistant director after the speed of cues and accuracy of entries, our second performance really picked up like it never has before.  Cues were tighter, lines were more seamless and the pace and energy of the show were the best they’ve been so far.

I’m not sure what to attribute this to.  Maybe the talk was all we needed, maybe it was the cooler weather, or maybe we just decided to kick ourselves into gear, who knows.

However, I’m still struggling with the Pedant role.  I’m actually quite surprised that this has turned out to be my most difficult role.  I only just had a light bulb moment a few days ago regarding the quality of the character and am still trying to sort out my embodiment of it.  It’s really frustrating me.  I wish I’d had this sudden epiphany a few weeks ago when I would have had more time to work with it.  But now, I basically have one more rehearsal to get it right before I’m on stage in front of an audience and I don’t like feeling this unsure about a character this close to opening night.  I’m just caught in this awful feeling of knowing what I want to accomplish and yet feeling stuck in myself. Ugh.  There’s this wall and I just want to punch through it.

Oh the upside, the set is almost finished.  It’s up and only the finishing touches remain.  I’m really pleased with the result.  The whole thing looks great.  However, the next time I am even tempted to think that sewing will be less time consuming than painting, someone please smack me.  This has been once of the most tedious processes ever.

Tomorrow is our dressing rehearsal.  I think it will go well.  And after that, I think we will be ready to open.  It’s going to be wonderful.  I hope everyone comes to see it.

Remember June 23rd, 24th, 25, 26th and 27th at 7:30 pm in the courtyard behind UC.  Tickets are 15$ at the door, $10 for students and seniors.  Bring a lawn chair, some water and snacks and have a great evening of uproarious fun.

It was a really good day for performances today.  It was the final day of my awesome Vocal Arts Intercession course and we had our class recital.  I performed “Non so piu” from The Marriage of Figaro.  I was really pleased with my performance.  It was probably one of my best runs of the piece to date, though of course the rehearsal before went better.  I am very proud of myself.  I feel I was able to pull together all the changes that have happened to my voice over the past 6 weeks and create something quite impressive.  I’m feeling good.

However, as soon as I took my bow and left the stage, I was out the door and off to a Shrew rehearsal.  This was also a really good performance.  We’ve been doing full runs of the show now for a couple of days and tonight’s was the best so far, though of course there is still plenty of work left before our opening night next Tuesday.  I still have to fully flush out my characters a little more and create more dynamic performances.  However, I feel I’m on the right track and am close to my goal.

I think all should be ready for Tuesday.  Or at least as ready as anything ever can be before an opening night. I never feel completely ready, and I’m a firm believer that one shouldn’t.  Over rehearsal can be as damaging to a show as under-rehearsal.  But I don’t think we’re in any trouble of either happening to us next week (knock on wood)

Oh and the set is coming along nicely.  It’s taken far more time than I anticipated, though I supposed I shouldn’t be surprised.  We’ve run into a couple logistical problems that have yet to be solved, but they will be as soon as I can get to a hardware store and buy the necessary equipment to fix the problem.

It’s all the little lose ends that are standing in our way now.  Oh how I hate little loose ends.  I think I’ve written about them before.  They don’t just plague me in my composing, but in all areas of my artistic life.  Oh well, I still have a couple days to get everything tied up before we open to the public. Opening night is Tuesday June 23rd at 7:30 pm.

So in short, I’m feeling good.  My intercession was amazing, but over; Shrew is coming along and almost ready and I am extremely tired.  But fulfilled.

I’ve been feeling surprisingly accomplished these past few weeks.  I’ve been looking back at the developments in my artistic life that have taken place over the past two and a half months.  When I add it all up,  I’m flabbergasted at how much has changed so quickly.  In the short time since my spring term  ended and I officially finished my undergraduate requirements, I seem to have been published, landed acting and singing gigs for both the summer and the fall, uncovered a whole new dimension to my singing, gone to more auditions in one month than I ever did during my entire undergrad and generally found a new energy and enthusiasm to really put myself out there and achieve the things I want.  Add that to my already established choir, the amazing Vox Humana Chamber Singers who will be starting our second season in the fall, and things are really shaping up.

But I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I’m not used to this many things going right all at once.  Don’t get me wrong,  I’m loving the high all this good news has given me.  I love feeling like things just might work out for me after all.  But I’m not used to it.  I keep wondering what the catch is, or how long the good news can last.  Years of persistent bouts of self-doubt and criticism have taken their toll on my perception of my abilities.  But then I have also come to realize that I am not used to so many things going right because until now I have not taken the risks.  As I said before, this past term, and especially in the past two months, I’ve put myself out and actively gone after the things I want.   Before, I avoided things like that, convinced I wasn’t good enough and definitely afraid of the inevitable rejection I was certain I would receive.   I went to my lessons, did my practicing and kept my head down.  I left the opportunities to those who I thought were better.  But now, somethings different.  I’m swallowing my anxiety and I’m actually going for the things I want.  And I wonder why I should feel so surprised and suspicious when I get good results.

Anyway, despite a couple blips in my self-confidence related to my singing (a situation which has since also turned around dramatically), I’ve been so excited about all the things I’m doing and the things that are still to come.  I’m feeling good.  I’m feeling artistically validated and I’m liking it.

I finally went and bought fabric for the Shrew set, which means I’ve now finalized the design.  Thank goodness Frabricland is having a huge sale right now, because I definitely walked out of the store with 25.5 metres of fabric and was miraculously under budget.

After nearly an hour of browsing the store, comparing and testing different colours, patterns and fabrics, I decided on a sublet ivy patterned upholstery fabric  in a natural, forest colour pallet.

The stage area is a wonderful mix of large trees, grasses and shrubs closed in by old stonework and ivy.  I want to create curtains that will not detract or clash with this beautiful and classic environment.  The audience’s eye must be able to blend out the curtains whenever they are not appropriate for the scene (i.e.  “outdoor” scenes),  but  still need to be opulent enough to properly frame wealthy, Italian Renaissance style villas.  I decided to go for dark green curtains with a gold gathered drapery across the top.  With a few embellishments like tasseled curtain ropes, I think they should do quite well.

However, there was a slight snag in the plan.  I originally  wanted to use  only one colour of fabric for the main part of the curtain- the dark green. But I needed  20m of the stuff and there was not enough on the bolt.  I was told I was going to be hard pressed to find a bolt in the store that had that much fabric on it, unless I went into some of the high end curtain fabric which was way out of my price range.  This is why I have two tones of green.  Each side of the curtain is going to have four panels, two of each colour of green.  They are the same fabric and pattern and fairly close in colour.  With all the gathers and folds that will be put in, the effect should be pretty good and will help break up the solidness of the design and hopefully add a little colour and textural variety.

I’m going to forgo with the reversible curtains.  There will only be one set that will remain up for the whole show.  It just makes practical sense. We now don’t have to worry about set changes during the show.  Also, the fabric I just bought is only enough for one set of curtains.  Creating another pair of drapes would  be too expensive and would double the work hours still required to sew them all together.

The job is far from done, but I’m feeling much better now that the colour pallet and design has been solidified.  Now I just have to brush off my sewing skills and turn my ideas into reality.

I’m officially off book for Shrew.

Whew… that took a bit of work to do.

With my intersession course being just past the halfway mark, I thought I’d do a little check-in and update on how things are going. In short, they have been absolutely amazing. The progress I’ve made and am continuing to make has been astounding and I’ve learned so much about the anatomy, physics and practical application of the human voice. I should have been taking this course every summer.

This week was the switch from Porf. Torin Chiles to Prof. Ted Baerg. Just as I got used to Prof. Chile’s technique and teaching style, I am once again confronted by another new pedagogical approach and once again am feeling a little unsure and lost in some of the new technique. But nowhere near as lost of unsure as I was during the first week.

I am loving Ted. He has been able to pull things out of my voice that I never knew I was capable of. I was singing away up on high C’s and D’s today with no problem at all. I used to crack a G. Now that note is a cakewalk and just pours out of me like it were melted butter. I have been finding more and more consistency in my voice and the vast improvements that have taken place over the past 3 weeks continue to strengthen at quite an astonishing rate. I feel as if I have an entirely new voice and it just keeps getting better.

I almost can’t keep up with myself. My perception of my voice and its actual sound no longer reflect one another. They are out of sync. My voice is sounding infinitely better than I expect it to before I open my mouth. Though I’ve always tended to suffer from this kind of self-underestimation. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I keep thinking there must be a catch. Things can’t be going this well this fast. It’s all a little disorienting. But nice… very nice.

The two teaching styles I have received from this course are quite different from one another, and both are quite different than the approach I have been accustom to for the past three years from Rachel. It’s been one heck of a learning experience. In the first couple lessons with each new teacher, I find myself just getting used to a new set of terminology, imagery and a working dynamic. It’s a wonder that much of anything can be accomplished in the short time we all have together. Usually these sots of student/teacher relationships take a while to build. But in this type of environment, we have so little time. I find I have to take a deep breath and jump right in with both feet.

At any rate, I’m completely enjoying myself. The first week was really really tough. There were some really low moments and a couple long cries, but after that everything seems to have taken off. I’m flying high and hoping it doesn’t stop.

Of course it’ll be harder when the course ends and I no longer have the constant lessons and guidance. But that won’t be for another two and a half weeks. Who knows what I could accomplish by then?!