What a concert. Vox Humana’s performance yesterday was more than I could have ever asked for. I was so happy with they were able to produce. I was on such a blissful choral high all afternoon. It still amazes me how, despite the myriad troubles and anxieties leading up to any performance things always seem to come together in the end. And that’s exactly what happened yesterday.
It seems this choir is forever to be pressed for rehearsal time. What with sickness, school work, conferences and family obligations, it’s a marvel that we can meet even once a week, and even then our rehearsal numbers often don’t reflect the full membership numbers. The last two weeks before the concert were mayhem. I was in and out of London doing my grad school audition, then we had the Easter weekend on top of a slew of illnesses and graduate conferences. All this left us scrambling to reschedule extra rehearsals. Our final rehearsal was the day before the concert and even after that two hour session there were ragged ends in our program.
But on Sunday afternoon, we all dressed up in bright colours, put on our nice shoes and showed up early at the beautiful Windermere on the Mount Chapel. With refreshed voices and the potent mix of preshow excitement and anxiety we threw everything we had into our dress rehearsal.
I wasn’t exactly worried. I had my game plan ready. I knew exactly what I wanted to fix and how I was going to fix it. However, it wasn’t until they sang “Rauha” and I heard what they made of the piece that I knew we would be okay and were ready to give a performance. And it was a stunning performance. It was the best I’ve ever heard them sing and I felt so proud.
We performed “If Thou Wilt, Remember” with Josh on the alto saxophone as our closer. It was the highlight of the concert. It felt so good to be conducting that piece and to feel it in my hands. Nearly a year ago I was submitting it for publication and now here I was conducting it with my own choir. It felt good.
And now I have some serious post show blues. Choir is over for the summer and I feel as if I have nothing left to do. This of course is not really true since I’m always finding myself something new to contribute my talents to. However, it is possible I will never conduct Vox again. I may be in another city in the fall and while studying at Memorial is the dream I do desperately want to come true, leaving Vox will be difficult.
I was nervous taking over Vox. I was not sure I would be able to fill Tim’s shoes. I wasn’t sure I knew how to keep the group together, or that I would know how to run rehearsals or organize concerts or all the endless little details and jobs that being director required of me. And it has been trying. Every now and then the anxiety that I wasn’t doing it right would overwhelm me and I was sure it would all fall apart. But it didn’t, and we got through and I am so relieved and proud and happy and exhausted. And I want to it again.
It was a wonderful concert and I’m so proud of what we did. I’m so happy for the choir and I hope they enjoyed themselves as much as I did.
