I just received an offer of admissions from the School of Music at Memorial University for their graduate program in choral conducting. I’m not sure I really have the right words to describe how I feel right now. All I can say is that I legitimately cried when I read the letter. I feel so happy and relieved and validated and excited and scared and proud and shocked and a whole bunch of other emotions that I’m still trying to sifted apart. But above all else I am happy.
Truth be told, this whole application and audition process which started last October and took me to both ends of the country has been a nightmare. I truly would never wish the amount of stress, anxiety, fear and self doubt that I experienced on anyone and I never want to have to do this again (though something tells me I will one way or another).
But it’s all over for now and after months of rejection and failure I finally have what I set out to get. I am so proud and astonished with myself that I actually went and achieved something that I’ve been talking about for several years now. I realize the work has only just begun. I haven’t even started school and this process will not truly be complete until I finish the maters degree. But this is the first big step and it was the goal of the entire past year. It makes me feel so good to know that I accomplished it.
I’m right now in the warm fuzzy stage were I can bask in the glow of this wonderful achievement. I don’t yet have to start worrying about how I’m going to move out to St. John’s or where I’m going to live or any of those details. I am just going to enjoy this feeling for a little while before those inevitable stresses and anxieties take over.
This is what I wanted. Memorial is where I want to be and now I get to do it. I am so happy.
