Wow, I can’t believe it’s been over a month since I last posted. It’s really silly and ridiculous of me because it’s not like there hasn’t been anything to write about. But today’s little bit of news has spurred me on to post.
Today I received my very first royalty cheque for sold copies of my published work “If Thou Wilt, Remember”. It isn’t a very much, but at this stage in the game that’s hardly the point. The point is I have officially been paid for my music.
How awesome is that? I mean, really? I could try and be all stoic and modest about this, but all I really want to do is jump up and down and scream for joy. And then I want to pinch myself because it still doesn’t feel real and I still don’t understand how I became a composer. I still feel like I’m merely masquerading as one. It’s odd, but it feels good so I’m just going to go with that.
I have plenty more to update about, specifically details concerning my grad school applications and auditions. Have I mentioned I’m going to Alberta at the end of the week? No? Oh, and then I’m off to St. John’s in March. Well, I’ll write more about that later.
This Sunday is our concert of our second season. The concert, titled “Gloria”, will be a program celebrating friends, passion, spirituality and the simple goodness that connects one human being to another and will feature classical and contemporary sacred works with a light Christmas theme and perhaps even a wassailing and drinking song or two. If you are in London, come out and see us!
We are half way through our run of The Gondoliers and several reviews have been published on local theatre review sites. The reviews are rather mixed; some love the 1950’s setting, the colour, exuberance and use of 1950’s cliches, while other hate it. The most common critique is that the orchestra was too loud. I myself get a brief mention, which also is mixed. Essentially, one reviewer liked my energy and acting and thought it made up for a lesser quality voice. Sigh, oh well. One can’t have stellar reviews all the time and it’s good to know that I need to ratchet up the vocal intensity. It’s something to work on between now and tomorrow’s show. However, I was flattered that they liked my acting.
At any rate, I’m having a wild time performing in this show. The large audiences make it all that much better, and each performance has been different with new memorable moments, including one night when a large bat was flying around at the top of Act I. I don’t want the run to end. I already feel strange and useless in this 4 day break we’ve had. I can’t imagine how much I’m going to miss it when the final curtain comes down.
I’ll write more about the show, my thoughts and experience later, but for now, I’ll link to the various reviews here, here, here and here.
Opening Night of Gondoliers is fast approaching. I’m exceedingly excited but also nervous. I wish we had more time. I especially wish me had more time with the orchestra as tonight’s rehearsal was our first time singing with them with staging and tomorrow is our dress rehearsal after which we open and all opportunities to practice and fine tune will be gone.
Looking back at this whole process, this entire show and been one steep learning curve for me. For example, I have never had to move and sing at the same time. I have never had to dance and sing before. I quickly discovered I need to whip my cardiovascular endurance up quick. Similarly, I have never sung with an orchestra. The textures are vastly different than piano. It is an all together different experience weaving one’s vocal line with those of a multi-instrument ensemble. The complexities and nuances of tone and colour make for a richer and more exciting musical experience. However, with so many independent lines, bringing them all together into one cohesive idea is much more difficult. Changes in tempi or dynamics drastically impact the piece and the performance. This evening, I found myself struggling to maintain a steady tempo or to make my voice carry over the pit and into the audience.
That brings me to another “first”. The Palace Theatre is without a doubt the largest stage I have ever sung solo in. While the theatre itself is not particularly large by theatre standards, seating roughly 350 people, it certainly is the largest space I’ve been in vocally and I’ve had an interesting time navigating the space. While it for the most part has a great acoustic, there are some dead spots. I originally feared I would be walking into a dead space and would have to force my voice to carry. But I have found that the theatre accepts the sung voice rather well.
I am nearly buzzing with anticipation for opening night. I can’t wait for an audience. However, I am also aware that a theatre full of people loses a certain amount of its acoustic capacity. But at the same time, what is lost in acoustic is more than made up for in the energy that is created by the connection between performers and a live audience. I can’t not wait to have that live audience to play to. As much as I throw myself into rehearsal, it is never quite the same as when there is a room full of people to respond. That’s when performances become electric and I am waiting for that.
The show is going to be wonderful, so if you are in London or the area please do come and see the show. You can check out the Musical Theatre Productions website for show details. Get your tickets while you can!
I have just started my first grad school application. Boy, this feels surreal. I know I’ve talked about doing grad school for nearly three years now. But, now that I’m actually starting the process, it feels so daunting and it suddenly makes the idea more real than ever.
I still can’t believe I’m actually doing it. There is so much to do in such a short period of time. Once again, I have to pull together the sum of my musical and academic experiences and convince people that I am the best candidate for the job. And yet again, the little voices of self-doubt remind me that there must be thousands of others out there who do what I do, only better. I look at my grades; they are good, but they could be better. I look at my conducting technique: it’s good, but it could be better. When they ask what my career aspirations are, what feats of glory do I hope to achieve that would make me worth their investment, I flounder and the only words on my lips are “I want to be a conductor.”
Sigh. This is exactly how ungrad applications felt over four years go, only much, much worse. But, I’ll keep at them. In reality, what is the worst that can happen? They could say no and then I would be in the exact position I am in today, and I’m pretty happy today. So, I’ll breathe deep, take the plunge and hope for the best.
I picked up my complimentary publication sores today, which meant today was the first time I have seen my piece in its official octavo form. It’s quite the thrill, let me tell you, to see it for real.
I spent some time today writing thank you letters to the special people who have contributed to my development as a musician. It was wonderful to sit down and remember the many ways so many people have helped me along my journey, and it was a good feeling to be able to say thank you and then give them something to show for all that work.
I have been truly lucky in the number of people who have supported and believed in me, even when I don’t necessarily believe in myself (which, I must admit is more often than I would like). I have a set of parents who never even batted an eyelash when I decided I wanted to pursue music. I have a grandparent who paid for my first voice lessons. I had teachers who encouraged my choices and supported every step I took. I’ve never once been questioned by those closest to me for my choices. I am very lucky and it feels great to be having some small successes.
I’ve been meaning to catch up on all the up-dates of various events over the past week. I had my first Vox Humana rehearsal last week as director and haven’t written about that yet. I had my first Gondoliers rehearsal last week and still haven’t written about it. I’ve been published and haven’t written anything more than a quick blurb. There is plenty to talk about.
Let’s start with the choir. That first rehearsal was amazing. Right off the bat, I can’t believe the sound quality of the group and how quickly they pick things up. I had my rehearsal plans all set, but the sections I thought were going to take a while to get took no time at all. In addition, I had confidence in what I was doing. I was prepared and felt like I belonged up in front, which was a really nice feeling. I enjoy feeling like I know what I’m doing and I’m looking forward to feeling more of that. In short, I think it’s going to be another very successful Vox Humana season!
On to the Gondoliers. Rehearsals are fantastic. It’s a huge group and I’m struggling to remember everyone’s name. I’m hoping by the end of the run in November I’ll have them all. The music is great, but like any G&S, it is fast. Holy lord is it fast! This score is going to require and ridiculous number of hours in a practice room! But I knew that going in and it’s something I’m more than willing to do. I’m just too happy and excited to be in the show. The past few rehearsals have just been straight singing rehearsals. We start the blocking and choreography this weekend. I’m nervous. I don’t really have a whole lot of dance experience. But I guess I’m going to get it now.
Well, I think that’s it for now. I’ll post about the publishing later.
This story is just one of several from my childhood that had I been a slightly brighter kid would have tipped me off to my future career plans.
When I was little, my mom always sang me lullabies before I went to sleep. She had a whole repertoire of standards that I would choose from every night. There were slow pretty ones were she’d rock me and fast ones where she would spin me around and bounce me on her knee. There were even ones that made me so sad that one night I finally burst into tears and confessed to my mom I didn’t want her to sing it anymore. I seem to remember that one being about little Alice growing up. It had a line about her heading out he door, and I always had this image of my bed floating out the front door with me trapped on it. But regardless of the emotions these songs provoked in me, they were a nightly ritual, and were never missed… even when my parents were out and I was left with a babysitter.
Now, I only have vague memories of this, but I have been told by several former baby-sitters that I was something of a novelty to put to bed, because I would sing myself to sleep. And we’re not talking one or two songs. I would sing through my Mom’s entire lullaby repertoire… loudly, for an hour. The baby-sitter would know the moment I’d fallen asleep when the singing would suddenly stop.
Even at a young age, music was a comfort to me. It was enough to sooth even my anxiety when my parents went out. Again, I should have known much earlier than I did that music was meant to be the keystone of my life.
Slowly, but surely, Vox Humana is coming together. It’s been a lot of work and a lot of advertising and foot work, but I’m slowly getting the interest from te people I need. I’ve had a few people express interest in the Assistant Conductor’s position as well as some interest in accompanying. I’ve found a couple more members, though I’m still terribly low in tenors and basses (oh, the eternal lament of every amateur choir director the world over).
But even still, there is still more to do and things are still a little too up in the air for my comfort. I’m still terrified it’s all going to come crashing down.
Well, nothing I can do but keep working, and keep flogging the choir to the general community. There are more posters to post, there are more libraries and music schools to hit up, there are more people to talk to and twist arms.
Sigh, I just wish someone could wave a magic wand and poof just hand me a fully balanced 20 member choir, an accompanist and an assistant director. But I guess that’s not likely to happen. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to be like the little red hen and do it myself.
I’ve got two new auditions coming up. I booked them both today. One of them is really soon. It’s on Sunday. A local threatre company is casting for their whole season. I’m going in to do a straight drama audition and a musical theatre audition and then see what I get. This is going to be the first audition I’ve done since high school where I’ve been asked to prepare and perform a monologue. Boy, am I glad I did that Shakespeare course. I’ve still got my Goneril monologue well under my belt.
The second audition is early September and it’s for the same company that is producing The Gondoliers. They are casting for their annual spring musical and his season they’re staging “Nine” by Arthur Kopit and Maury Yeston. I’m excited about the opportunity because unlike so many shows where there are maybe four female roles, this show is unique in that is has 16 female singing roles. So my chances of landing on are significantly improved. Of course that’s no excuse not to be prepared.
This year I’m going to make a concentrated effort to start pulling together an audition portfolio of sorts. I’m going to start preparing basic repertoire to meet the usual audition requirements. I’m going to learn a few contrasting monologues that best show case my abilities as well as learn new repertoire for different types of musical productions. It’ll just make the whole audition process easier so the next audition I find I won’t be in the usual position of wondering what I will perform. I’m also in the process of getting some proper head shots. I have a couple of contacts in Toronto who are wonderful photographers and could easily help me create a good, basic head shot.
Well, there is plenty to keep me busy this year and I have lots of work to do to get this whole performance thing off the ground. But I guess I just have to keep slogging though it.
